Who am I?

I am Amanda, a stay at home mother to two wonderful children, Fiona & Ferris. Fiona has Autism, possibly caused by a small genetic deletion at 22q13.1 (but not the region attributed to Phelan-McDermid Syndrome - although she presents similarly), but we cannot say for certain, as her particular deletion is undocumented. In other words, according to medical literature currently available, she is the only known person with a deletion in this exact region, and so it is of "unknown clinical significance" and we have no idea what her future holds. Currently she is almost completely non-verbal, her only real word with any real meaning being "boob" as she is breastfed. *gasp* Yes, you read correctly, my almost 3 year old daughter still nurses, and I'm proud of that fact. Ferris is a neurotypical little chubba bubba baby man. He gives me sanity, and hope, and comfort for the future. He is nearly 8 months old at the time of this writing, and he is my charming, adorable, little-big guy. He is also breastfed, and doesn't seem to mind sharing with Sissy, who is the neatest thing since pureed peaches in his eyes. Want to know more? Just ask!

Saturday, May 28, 2011

Dear Fiona,

Three years ago today, you came into my life, and made me a Mother.  Before then, I didn't really know what it was to be a Mommy,  but you taught me that life lesson.  You have taught me many things in your lifetime.  You started teaching me the very moment you were born.  The very first thing you taught me was what love truly was.  We all think we know what love is, but really we don't until the day we become someone's Mommy.  No one knows a Mother's love unless they are one.  You made me a Mother, and you taught me what love was.

You've also taught me a thing or two about patience.  I was never a patient person really, until you came along.  It is amazing how different I am today when compared to just three short years ago.  It seems like just yesterday you came into my life, yet it feels like you've just always been here too.  That goes back to knowing what love is, a part of it.  Time flies, but when you really love someone, you feel like you've carried them in your heart since the moment you were born yourself.

When you were born, Fiona, I had so many dreams for you.  Over time, those dreams have changed and transformed, but make no mistake I still have so many dreams for you, those dreams are just different now. I will never underestimate you, I will always be your advocate, and I will always encourage you to achieve all that you can and more.  You are someone very special, and you are meant for greatness.  You will show the world what you are capable of, and I will cheer you on every step of the way.

We've had some bumps in our road together, but we are learning how to get past them every day.  We are moving mountains, princess, and we will keep traveling this path full speed ahead.

Fiona, I want you to have a super happy Birthday, full of fun and love, and I hope you know today how special you are, and how special you are every day too.  This is your day, sweet girl, your day.

I love you.  You have made me a better person, just by being here.  I will always be there for you, I will always pick you up when you fall, I will always put your happiness before my own.

Happy Birthday, Princess.

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